In your opinion - is it ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to call Elder Abuse on someone for no apparent reason?
A few years ago- My mother was taking care of my Grandmother whom was suffering from Dementia. I lived with them - and honestly, there was no ‘elder abuse’ we had aides coming to the house nearly every week.
I mean perhaps they got the ‘wrong impression’ but the reason why my Grandmother was becoming more fragile was not because my Mother was neglecting to feed her but rather because of her disease (Dementia) - it’s just a part of the illness and seeing as she did last several years- I know that with our care and having never been placed in a Nursing home, she certainly lived longer with us then what she would have lived in the care of a facility.
The neighbors next to us in our Apartment seemed to be very bothered that we didn’t place her in a Nursing home. I guess all I can say is it’s almost ‘impossible’ to be flawless 100% of the time when trying to take care of family member with dementia, sometimes their hair might be a little messy when you take them outside to the car- it’s something that’s sort of unexplainable unless you’ve witnessed the illness firsthand and the behavior and emotional problems associated with it.
When she did pass away, only ONE neighbor wrote a sorry for your loss card. No one gave any flowers or anything. I guess it’s not necessary - and the important thing is that she had her family around her when she needed them most… but what is up with some people these days?
My Grandmother lived in that apartment for 10 years. She was very sociable and witty and cheery. These neighbors next to use were very nosy–
They always sat outside their front doors like they had nothing to do. I don’t know for a FACT that it was them who called Elder Abuse and maybe they did it just for safety but I don’t know… I mean, were not shady people. We look clean, well-manered, well-dressed. - I don’t see why any suspicions would have been raised. But anyways- what happened. Happened.
Maybe you agree that the neighbors did the right thing just out of concern?
Caffeinated Content
February 8th, 2011 at 9:18 am
Caffeinated Content
Hmmm, well I guess if my grandmother was being abused, I would appreciate if someone called it in
but it does seem like some people are always more prepared to believe the worst.
You would think if they cared enough to call, they would care enough to maybe get more involved and get to know you all better and try and see what’s really going on.
Ignorance also plays a key factor. Ever notice how people without kids are the most vitriolic self-righteous when a child has a perfectly common and very hard to avoid accident?
The important thing is that you were all there for your nana and each other.
God Bless
February 8th, 2011 at 10:01 pm
Caffeinated Content for WordPress
As a Psychologist I can promise you that people look for the worst in situations like yours. They probably never realized how much work it took to take care of your Grandmother or the fact that she was suffering from Dementia and that you and Mother did everything you can to take the best care of her. People would rather see the bad in situations then the good…that is the reality in life.
It’s extremely sad that instead of whomever it was that called Elder Abuse coming forward and asking questions or speaking to you about the situation that they called and turned you in but unfortunately in this cruel world we live in…people love drama and that is exactly how they get the drama and negative attention they so crave.
Remember in your heart of hearts that you did everything possible that you could have done for her and that you loved her and that she loved you. She has gone to a better place and is watching over you and smiling because you did your best. Ignore the people who are not big enough to admit you’ve done a great job….pat yourself on the back.
Peace, Love Happiness