What could I tell my potentially dying grandmother at the hospital that is appropriate?
I was pressured by a psychiatrist 3 years ago to turn my uncle in for meth, and for abusing my grandma. This is a big taboo, and a line I crossed because I decided I truly **** him. Some of it had to do with him ripping me off of a lot of money, and another part of it had to do with his abuse of my grandmother. She took his side, and I am not allowed to see my little 78 year old grandma at her house because my uncle calls the police since I’m on probation.
It looks like I will be seeing my grandma for the first time in a couple years. She is weak, and has been in the hospital for a week. I no longer report my uncle to the police because elder care took their side since I’m on probation for getting in a fist fight with a grown male neighbor I had in my late 20’s.
I no longer drink, and that was the main issue with my grandma because my grandfather was a mean alcoholic. She puts up with my uncle when he goes on drug binges, but she is also intimidated by him. But I have put all of that behind me.
My main concern is seeing my grandma, and making sure she knows I am in college, and not drinking. Any suggestions on what I should say, and what I should not say? I did write her a letter a few weeks ago telling her I love her and that I no longer drink alcohol, and that I’m in college. I know not to bring up my uncle because he is such a major influence over her, and she would take his side. Plus she is weak, and I don’t want to bring up family drama. She is 78 or 79 and I just want to let her know I love her. She is my last grandparent.
I had a bad experience 5 years ago when my real mom died. I was adopted by my oldest aunt who is my mom, but my real mom was on her death bed and I didn’t want them to take her off life support. I was upset and she was not really alive anymore, so I understood the reasons to take her off life support when I saw her and gave her a kiss. But I still could not give the say to take her off life support. But she died later that day.
Please give me any tips on what to say. Thank you
Plans have changed and I won’t be allowed to see her.
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